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Self-love means accepting yourself fully. It is not a state of feeling good all the time but is a state of appreciation of yourself. Self-love is developed from actions that support physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It means nurturing your own happiness, growth, and well-being.
Both modelling self-love and teaching our kids about the importance of self-love is vital to their overall personal growth. As parents, teaching self-love to your kids allows them to set their boundaries, fulfill their goals, and create healthy relationships with the people around them.
Parents should consider that teaching self-love does not happen overnight. In the words of Rachel Hunter, it won’t happen overnight but it will happen.
Model the love. If you want your children to learn self-love, you have to show them how it’s done first. You cannot teach children something that you don’t know yourself. Parental behaviour is one of the biggest influences on children’s development. If you always practice self-love and self-care, your child will mirror this behaviour.
Practice self-care. Do things for yourself that let you live a holistically healthy life. Here are some self-care ideas for kids:
Eating healthily
Drinking a glass of water
Going for a walk
Playing with friends
Taking a bath
Listening to their favourite song
Reading a book
Drawing a picture
Talking to a family member or a friend about their day
Taking a nap
Encourage positive self-talk.
Self-love is treating yourself the way you would a friend. Through positive self-talk, we can teach children to talk to themselves the way they would speak to a friend—always with kindness. Encourage your child to compliment, comfort, and motivate themselves.
Model this yourself. Next time you make a mistake, be mindful of how you speak to yourself. Kids are watching.
Design affirmations
Work with your child (and do this yourself) to design positive affirmations. Focus on who your child is, not what your child does. Eg., I am a kind person instead of I can run really fast. Write the positive statements down in a journal or separately on cards and stick them to a whiteboard or fridge door.
Encourage the child to regularly revisit the affirmations–perhaps daily at first–and build a self-narrative that will enhance their self-esteem.
Affirmations work best when they are in the present tense with I am statements. They can also be used in mirror work, hugging the body or holding their own hand.
Same Same But Different
Often we feel pressure to look, behave, think, and feel the same as others. But while it is essential to recognise the similarities we all share, we should also register our differences and identify our strengths.
Discuss with your child the importance of being yourself while recognising what makes them unique.
Ask your child to:
Write down “My Strengths” at the top of a blank piece of paper.
Underneath, write a list of all the ways they are different from their friends, relatives, classmates, people they know, and people they don’t know.
Ask them: what makes you, you?
Beside each, write down why each ability or strength might be useful to them now or maybe in the future.
Self-love is an essential and transformative aspect of human existence. It is a powerful force that influences our well-being, relationships, and overall life satisfaction. Embracing self-love involves accepting and appreciating ourselves for who we are, recognizing our worthiness, and nurturing our physical, mental, and emotional needs.
One of the key reasons why self-love is crucial is its impact on our mental health. When we cultivate a positive self-image and engage in self-compassion, we develop resilience and inner strength. This allows us to navigate life's challenges with greater ease, bounce back from setbacks, and maintain a healthy mindset. Self-love empowers us to prioritize self-care and set healthy boundaries, reducing stress and promoting overall psychological well-being.
Furthermore, self-love plays a vital role in our relationships with others. When we truly love ourselves, we establish a solid foundation of self-worth and self-respect. This enables us to engage in healthier and more fulfilling connections with friends, family, and romantic partners. By valuing ourselves, we are less likely to settle for toxic or abusive relationships, and we attract people who appreciate and uplift us.
Self-love is also closely tied to personal growth and fulfillment. When we embrace self-love, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. We become more attuned to our passions, strengths, and values, and we have the courage to pursue our dreams and aspirations. Self-love encourages us to step outside our comfort zones, take risks, and embrace new opportunities. It allows us to live authentically and align our actions with our true selves.
Self love is also contagious. When we embody self-love, we inspire and empower others to do the same. By modeling self-acceptance and self-care, we create a ripple effect that positively impacts our communities and society as a whole. Self-love promotes compassion, empathy, and understanding, fostering a culture of kindness and acceptance.
In a world that often emphasises external validation and comparison, self-love serves as a radical act of self-empowerment and liberation. It reminds us that our worth is inherent and that we deserve love, kindness, and respect from ourselves and others. By prioritising self-love, we cultivate a deep sense of contentment and fulfillment, leading to a more meaningful and joyful existence.
Self-love is not a luxury but a necessity for our overall well-being. It enhances our mental health, strengthens our relationships, fuels personal growth, and positively impacts the world around us. By embracing self-love, we embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and empowerment. Let us honour ourselves, and allow our children to do so as well,
with compassion, care, and unconditional love, knowing that we are deserving of the greatest love of all—our own.
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